WHY I HATE CHRISTMAS

So I haven't always hated Christmas; in fact, it was my favourite time of year. However, since probably 2009, it's become an event full of frustration and tears (of sadness) and hate for me.

I'm not quite sure where to begin with this. Okay maybe, I'll start with the fact that I'm asian, and since more asian relatives have landed that asses onto this island, christmas spirit and tradition have just become blah.
food sucks, music sucks, people suck, gift giving sucks, atmosphere sucks. there was nothing christmas-y at all about last year's christmas. and the one before that. i've absolutely hated both of them. they're just like "okay let's throw in some ham and cook any white person's meal we can. there you go. here's your christmas."

Now what prompted me to write this blog post was something that happened about 20 minutes ago. So i've been feeling kind of guilty lately since my sister pointed out that i never really do much for her birthday or christmas and she always puts in effort and time to make me something. well, im sorry that i'm not exactly creative. and usually, the things i make end up in the trash anyway. so let's face it, i'm helping to save the environment. sort of.
I don't know if i've ever been this broke around Christmas before. I guess I've just never had such a need for money whilst simultaneously possessing next to nothing. So this year, my sister and I decided to give each other a christmas wishlist and both of us are to pick one or more items off that list to get for each other. So the thing I wanted was around $40 which, in comparison to the other $98 option, is pretty affordable. Then I picked some stuff she's been wanting for ages off of her list and decided that I would actually be nice this year and wrote up a list of other stuff I would throw in as well to surprise her and also rid me of the "worst sister of the year" award that my family has given me. Being the broke ass bitch I am, I added the stuff up and it pretty much uses up all the money I made selling my school books (money which is also needed to buy my next year's books) and i was all cool with that and was in fact pretty excited about going out to get those things for her and perhaps even making her happy on christmas this year.
BUT. she goes off and asks mum about when she can get driven to chaddy to buy some shit and one thing led to another and soon mum comes home and she asks me why I'm using my sister to buy expensive shit for me. then she and my sister go off about how what i'm getting her better be worth the same amount and my mum's like "i'm gonna make sure that you two have the same budget" blah blah blah. what. the. fuck. like since when was christmas all about comparing the price of presents.
so what's really aggravating me is that now, she's (and my mother) expecting me to buy fuck loads for her and make sure it adds up to what she's going to pay. UM. REALLY? I was going to fucking get you all that shit anyway and now i'm considering otherwise you fucking brat.